Zookeeper – 2 Buckets

With a children’s film like Zookeeper, in which a talking gorilla voiced by Nick Nolte orders 30 oranges at a T.G.I. Fridays as part of a rendezvous away from his Franklin Park Zoo home, reassuring the terrified waitress that he is simply a man dressed in an elaborate costume, you have to wonder if potheads were actually the intended audience. The truth is, if there were more of said gorilla and less of star Kevin James’ usual dumbo schtick, the movie would have undoubtedly gone down in the pantheon of great stoner comedies. Is there a developmental risk to exposing kids to such downright hallucinatory material? You might want to ask a psychologist before buying tickets for the family. But I can definitely say that adults will find Zookeeper a much more endurable movie than most that are this juvenile because, well, it can be pretty fucking nuts at times. Perhaps this was intentional, or perhaps it was merely the schizophrenic result of five separate screenwriters working on one movie. Either way, Nolte’s gorilla, oddly reminiscent of his Four Leaf Tayback in Tropic Thunder, is irresistible.

That’s not to say that Zookeeper will ever be mentioned alongside Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, the quintessential children’s comedy that works on a completely different plane for adults (especially, certain people in the know allege, if marijuana is involved). After all, James’ man-child character is essentially a recycled version of 2009’s Paul Blart, who was insufferable the first time. While James lives under his own roof in this film–a considerable maturation since his days as the mall cop–he’s still stuck in the same middle-aged rut playing zookeeper Griffin Keyes. When Zookeeper opens, Griffin make a marriage proposal to a woman much more physically attractive than he (Leslie Bibb’s Stephanie), only to be harshly rejected. Five years later, he is still without a wife, despite a perfect candidate in zoo veterinarian Kate (Rosario Dawson, who I need not mention is likewise far out of James’ league, but this is ignored by the magic of Hollywood). In a perfectly rational twist of fate, the zoo animals (born of a creepy-but-fascinating mixture of live-action shots and CGI effects) begin to talk to Griffin–presumably their first time divulging this secret ability to a human–so they can offer him advice on how to win Stephanie back. Misadventure ensues.

The scenes without the talking animals are indeed mostly insufferable. Given that the film dares to go into absurdist territory with these characters–who, in addition to Nolte, are voiced by Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, and other big names–one wonders why the five screenwriters felt the need to suffocate them with such uninspired, obligatory filler designed to move the plot along. There is just enough juice to Zookeeper that it is disappointing the movie didn’t veer into stranger, darker territory, further exploiting the animals. However, even though it ultimately suffers for embracing too much of the usual Kevin James mold, Zookeeper does deserve credit for side-stepping the standard bathroom humor of a James film, with the exception of one actually pretty funny urination gag. Given my initial expectations for the film, I’m inclined to count the inclusion of Nolte’s crazy gorilla and the exclusion of a scene featuring James (or an animal) on the toilet as a big win.

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Zookeeper (2011, USA). Produced by Barry Bernardi, Jennifer Eatz, Gino Falsetto, Todd Garner, Jack Giarraputo, Kevin James, Aimee Keen, Charles Newirth, Adam Sandler, Jeff Sussman. Directed by Frank Coraci. Written for the screen by Nick Bakay, Rock Reuben, Kevin James, Jay Scherick, and David Ronn. Story by Jay Scherick and David Ronn. Starring Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Ken Jeong, Donnie Wahlberg, and Joe Rogan. Featuring the voices of Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Judd Apatow, Jon Favreau, Faizon Love, and Maya Rudolph. Distributed by Columbia Pictures. Rated PG, with a running time of 104 minutes.