I hate to
not like a kids’ movie, or discourage one, because of flaws that only adults
will notice. Yet Clockstoppers takes the cake for being the most
mathematically wrong movie of the century; maybe even the millennium, that’s
if they even made movies back them. They don’t try to prove a scientifically
correct hypothesis in the plot, they hardly explain anything. Science is an
educated guess not straightforward and absolute; things are always being
changed, proven wrong, and investigated. Watches cannot stop time, they
simply tell it; they can move at a much faster rate, but can’t make you move
at a much faster rate; it’s science itself. In Clockstoppers anyone
can move at a much faster rate than normal by putting on a magical watch and
setting it into “hyper-time” mode. No feelers, no censors, nothing; this
ordinary timepiece can somehow hold information beyond us, yet was created
by scientists of our time. This makes no sense, nor does the movie; so I am
forced to strongly not recommend it.
Another huge problem I had with this film, if you
can even call it that, is that the director made the people in hyper-time
move at a normal rate, and the in real life move at an extremely slow pace.
If the people with the watches move at an incredibly fast rate, and don’t
effect the people at regular speed, then why isn’t real life maintain their
instinctive routine? Another thing; why can’t the people in hyper-time hear
the people in regular time? It’s not like it’s a separate world or
something. The movie is too confusing; if I can’t comprehend, then how is a
child supposed to?
On a more positive note, I guess Clockstoppers
offers a good time for kids. Even though unexplainably confusing, if they
don’t think about it in an intelligent perspective, like most others, they
will have a good time. There are certainly better children’s movies these
days, though. Why not show them Shrek, Monsters Inc., or
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius; they are so much better than this horrid
little piece of nothing; though I did get a kick out of a certain series of
jokes about E!Bay, being a computer wiz.
There’s more! I forgot to mention the horrible
soundtrack. The songs featured in it are primarily by Blink-182, and if
that’s not bad enough, they're cut to a “G” rating so they sound all sketchy
and go along very reluctantly with the motions and movements of the mediocre
actors becuase of the constant changing of verses. Everything’s a mess; face
it! Nickelodeon movies are a sellout!
Clockstoppers is nothing short of a
disaster captured on film. Why would anyone in the right mind bother with
probably the worst kids movie ever made. The acting is putrid, the
cinematography is horrible, the lighting is off-key, nothing is in the least
bit believable, and beyond all; the film isn’t half as intelligent as they
wanted it to be. I wouldn’t see this again for five billion dollars! Kill
me! This might be the worst movie of 2001!
-Danny, Bucket Reviews
