If you were to look up “guilty pleasure” in the dictionary,
The Scorpion King would be its definition. It is full of
jokes that you and I know are stupid, pointless dialogue and above
all, a lame execution; but I liked it, strangely. Perhaps its out of
order direction and production contributed to an increase in my
entertainment factor because of the ridiculed material. The Rock is a
terrible actor, and should stick to wrestling, but watching him was
incredibly fun, in a harmless way. Even an element is supposed to be
dead serious, you can’t help chuckling while enjoying its every move.
What I’m trying to say in layman’s terms is that this is a “stoner
movie”, something that should be enjoyed, and not overanalyzed because
of its helpless simplicity.
The story is a stupid excuse for screenwriters to showcase sex
and violence in a more intelligent manor. When first seeing the
previews, the material that I saw wasn’t at all enticing, but now I’m
convinced that lame material with errors in it is more likable than
serious material with errors in it because it is able to give off the
sweet smell of unintended humor. In this story, set 5,000 years ago in
a densely populated desert, a warrior must defeat a seemingly
invincible ruler who isn’t exactly the best people person. The ruler
wants to send nomadic people of the desert elsewhere and create harsh
laws and punishments that are much too strict for his people, but more
importantly make life easier for himself than everyone else in the
population. His new opponent (The Rock) almost is killed in his first
attempt at trying to kill him, so naturally he organizes a posse of
enemy soldiers to fight against the greedy man. The end result is for
you to find out if choose to embark on this entertaining journey. Will
the ruler keep his strength or, well, die.
One thing that I’m tried of seeing in film today are influent,
supposed to be funny Asian characters. In National Lampoons
Van Wilder, Taj, Van’s assistant, is an Indonesian exchange
student who is new to sex. The cultural and racism issues to this
aren’t what bug me; it’s that the material that these characters bring
to the table isn’t funny whatsoever. We’ve seen it time and time again
and it never is any more comical than the last. In The
Scorpion King, the ruler’s opponent, who is of Indian descent, has
a man who is granted the ability to journey with him in exchange for
help in a desperate situation. I dislike his character because of two
reasons. One: his unfamiliarity to the culture in which he lives in
didn’t create one laugh, or even a smile. Two: What is the likelihood
of an Asian man living in
Africa
four thousand years before Christ?
The Rock gave this film what Vin Diesel did for xXx;
entertainment. His one-liners are stupid, but in a certain sense,
extremely worthwhile. I don’t like to watch wrestlers trying to act,
and its not even a great move for casting directors, but he is so
amusing to watch and brings such a fresh new world to the action
genre, no one can help but like his character. I will not keep from
mentioning that his role has redeeming features, as most other critics
would to keep there names straight, but it did. He got my adrenaline
rushing, my game face on, and heck, I will even admit to smiling at
him a couple of times.
The Scorpion King delivers some entertaining
action that makes the movie worth a rental. Turn off your brain and
let the otherwise dull-minded plot get to you, because its fun to
watch if you let it be. The film on a whole is bad, but if you base it
solely on the level of excitement that it permits; the whole thing
turns out to be not to shabby. The flick doesn’t work, and I won’t
pretend that it does, but I gained a certain level of undefined
gratitude by watching it.
-Danny, Bucket Reviews