Guess The Size

I dare you to guess what size this "fine soft-drink product" is, which I bought today at the movies, when seeing The Perfect Man, for the affordable cost of $4.25. Now, not that I'm complaining or anything--because I'm totally one for getting away with all you can when it comes to buying and selling--but this'll shock you. And not just shock you in the Morgan Spurlock Super Size Me "McDonalds in France has Large Milkshakes the size of our Small Milkshakes" kind of a way. I'm not here to be a health-nut. But, there's a point in which I find this 'kinda thing pretty goddamn funny. Funny enough to share with you all and waste your time with on this 'blog, at least. That's not something that can be said of all things I come across.

Well, even though the drink doesn't look as big as it is in the picture, and the ruler I included as a frame of reference totally doesn't do reference justice, I think you'll be just as shocked as I was when I found out that this drink, ladies and gentlemen, is a medium. A medium! When my father got a free soda from the same place, which was called a "small", we assumed the guy just read the coupon-thingy wrong and gave him a large one, on accident. But it was a small, not a large. And, if this one isn't big enough for you, not only do they have one size up for a quarter, but two sizes. That's right: they have a jumbo size! What's even more hysterical is that the lady in line in front of me asked if there were free refills on the jumbo size.

You know, it's a simple thing, but I just can't go over it. It's almost as if the theatre is now using a technique to make more money. I just picture the executives upstairs saying "Now, now, if we make people go to the bathroon during the movie because we have the forceful ability to fill their bladders, then they may just buy some more snacks on their way out!" Which is totally brilliant, yes, but it's hilarious and pathetic at the same time. Couldn't you charge the same amount for a smaller soda and have equally as many buyers? Or, you could make the medium into the jumbo size and charge more for a less amount of the product. Now that right there seems smarter to me. If people actually do have mega-bladders, then they'd buy more of it for a higher price. It's all supply-and-demand. But what do I know?--I haven't gone through the Liberal-Education-System's "economics class" yet.

As far as The Perfect Man is concerned, I enjoyed it to a certain degree. It's almost as if screenwriter Gina Wendkos was suffering from some kind of creative bi-polarity disorder when typing it up; in one scene, the movie looks as if it is going somewhere truly brilliant (and there are a few moments that it actually does), but then it goes and gets muddled up in those entirely ridiculous, absolutely stupid, and utterly moronic events that are supposed to be cute but are just annoying. If you've seen a romantic comedy before, you know what I'm talking about. However, I'm certainly coming down harsher than I would normally, just because they do destroy what the movie could've been. At times, I thought it was heading for "***1/2" praise, but what it ends up being truly mediocre, albeit far more interesting than any old average picture. However, given the fact that it's a step up from one of my favorite people in Hollywood, Hilary Duff, I'm willing to take it. She really needs to collaborate with Jim Fall (The Lizzie McGuire Movie), who I had the pleasure of corresponding with over e-mail for a little while, again. If he can't get her back on track, no one can (I say this with extreme affection for Duff's work, however).